北邙卷 第章 丁字裤闹出人命(1 / 2)

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&nbsp;&nbsp;第044章丁字裤闹出人命

&nbsp;&nbsp;……………………………………

&nbsp;&nbsp;要说这误会闹的,也不全赖杜娘。虽然尊卑有别,她只是个乳母,可是刘汉少最不讲究的就是所谓尊卑,除了偶尔发脾气之外,平时对杜娘好的都能算得上孝顺了。同样,在杜娘心里,也把刘汉少看的和史努比一样,甚至有过之而无不及,这话说出来也许不合适,但内心是真实而不容欺骗的。

&nbsp;&nbsp;所以,在杜娘心里,无论汉少多么尊贵,多么聪颖,始终改变不了的都是“自己的……小娃!”压根也没想过,自己的小娃,突然有一天,找自己说这些女人的羞于启齿的私密事,让她怎不又羞又恼?当然,其中还有一个原因,可能就和传说中的“一孕傻三年”有关了。

&nbsp;&nbsp;刘汉少也委屈啊。

&nbsp;&nbsp;合着哥那么热闹地说了半天,您这儿才刚刚反应过来?史老道也一直凑在旁边看图来着,没瞅他给您捏肩的那双手,都变的贱兮兮、不老实了吗?怎么单打哥,不打他呀?

&nbsp;&nbsp;“闭嘴!”

&nbsp;&nbsp;突然从书案上蹿下来,刘汉少用力一拍书案,大吼一声。

&nbsp;&nbsp;亲归亲,从另一方面来说,刘汉少的“不讲礼数”也助长了杜娘的胆气,否则,刘汉少做的再怎么荒唐,她又如何敢数落不是,甚至还动手打一下?虽然只是象征性的。

&nbsp;&nbsp;现在刘汉少急了眼,杜娘也立刻端正了自己的态度。闭嘴就闭嘴吧,反正皇子站着咱坐着,到哪儿也没这个待遇。

&nbsp;&nbsp;屋里死寂三秒,刘汉少长出一口气,尽量摆出一副语重心长地架势,又说:“杜娘,我不是在做荒唐事,而是真的为你好。甚至,也不仅仅是为了你,咱们学校那么多女娃,慢慢的都长大了。她们没妈,你就是她们的妈呀!你有责任教会她们如何照顾自己,保护自己。”

&nbsp;&nbsp;“妈”这个字好理解,就是“阿母”的意思。

&nbsp;&nbsp;看着刘汉少说的郑重其事,更因为那句“她们没妈”,深深触动了这位母爱泛滥的大肚婆。尽管止不住内心羞臊,杜娘还是很认真地点了点头。

&nbsp;&nbsp;“咳咳,这是一门很严肃的学问,杜娘你可要认真学啊……”

&nbsp;&nbsp;于是,刘汉少开始了一堂多少有点少儿不宜的授课。什么全罩型、半罩型、长束勒肉型,平角式、三角式、提臀束腰式……各种样式的讲解,以及对女性的种种好处,统统告诉了杜娘。至于具体内容嘛,也只有前生“门外汉”那么一点可怜的理解,加上自己的揣摩,还有信口胡诌。

&nbsp;&nbsp;可是杜娘不知道刘汉少的这堂课里,有多少是真正的知识,又有多少是掺的水分呀。渐渐的竟然被吸引住了,完全忘了责问刘汉少,怎么小小年纪,会懂这些事。最后,还拿起了丁字裤的图样,好学地追问:“那这一个,有什么好处?”

&nbsp;&nbsp;苦想三秒,刘汉少郑重地说:“这一个,能让史老道把你当成仙儿,顶礼膜拜!”

&nbsp;&nbsp;那会儿没有松紧带,内裤也全都得系带……系带丁字裤……前生的时候,曾经当作生日礼物,给她买过一件,结果“小王大兴”差点被勒断了气儿……这课不能再讲下去了!

&nbsp;&nbsp;头一次,刘汉少落荒而逃。

&nbsp;&nbsp;…………

&nbsp;&nbsp;等到杜娘的样品做出来之后,让史老道进山帮忙鉴定,当天这家伙就没下山,第二天杜娘就要生了。消息传回史侯府,刘汉少慌忙不迭地往山里赶,路上还恶意揣测。

&nbsp;&nbsp;杜娘该不会是被这个老流氓给祸祸了吧?那么大的肚子,他也能下得了手?真真是禽兽……禽兽都不如啊!

&nbsp;&nbsp;来到杜娘门外,这里已有史老道、史努比在场,还有文徽和蔡琰陪着。两个连忙喊大哥,一个跟着喊哥,刘汉少顾不上搭理他们,直接走过去踹了史老道一脚。

&nbsp;&nbsp;史老道正来回溜达呢,被刘汉少踹的一愣。

&nbsp;&nbsp;现在人多了,刘汉少还带着韦光正、任红昌和燕大娃、云大妞他们一大堆呢,也不好开口责问这个老流氓到底祸祸没祸祸杜娘,只能瞪着他再来一脚。

&nbsp;&nbsp;好像明白了,史老道臊着脸,向刘汉少微微摇了摇头。刘汉少不信,又是一脚。

&nbsp;&nbsp;史老道心里话说:难道汉少没看到我的暗示?

&nbsp;&nbsp;刘汉少心里话说:哥信你才怪了!

&nbsp;&nbsp;史老道连忙摆手,刘汉少还继续踹。好在史老道反应过来,知道躲了,刘汉少就追着踹。一旁的大娃小娃们全然不知道这俩人打什么哑谜,不过看热闹的情绪很高涨。

&nbsp;&nbsp;就在一躲一踹之间,屋内啼声大作,这是停战的讯号,也是欢呼的起始。

&nbsp;&nbsp;小娃们也不知道瞎乐呵个啥,都围着史努比道喜,史努比还挺客气,拱手作揖,一一还礼,忙的不亦乐乎。好像傻不拉叽的就只剩下史老道,还有不知该干啥的刘汉少。

&nbsp;&nbsp;不一会儿,一个老媪从屋里走了出来,笑呵呵地报母子平安,还恭喜史老道和刘汉少。史老道还傻着呢,笑的别提多奇怪了。刘汉少纳闷,怎么还带恭喜哥的呀,这里没我什么事吧?随即反应过来,连忙喊韦光正打赏。

&nbsp;&nbsp;韦光正兜里没小钱,掏了个金饼子递过去。老媪也是工匠农家的妇人,不知道是哪家的老妈或者奶奶。虽然汉少平时赏赐不少,也不可能逮谁都塞金饼子啊,如今老媪捧着个“煎蛋黄”,连心尖都乐开了花,就巴望着要是山里天天都能有人生娃就好了。

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