第章 祢正平这是要火(2 / 2)

  哥要是连你都不能玩舒坦,就算白来你们汉朝走一回了!

  刘汉少先是挥了挥手,让在场所有的女子都退下,免得污了她们的眼目,然后又命燕四娃他们找来一条条凳,将祢衡摁趴在上边,手脚都绑在凳子腿上。随孔融来的众人见此情形,还以为刘汉少打算棒杀祢衡,碍于面子,纷纷上前求情,但是,其中也有人说:“祢衡目无尊上,君前失仪,理应典刑,以儆效尤!”

  这个临阵卖队友的奇葩叫作郗虑,乃是兖州山阳人,郑玄的弟子,眼下还跟着郑玄在太学院当老师。原本今天孔融也去请郑玄了,但是郑玄推脱没来,这才派了郗虑前来。

  但是,同为郑玄门下,国渊都已经当上中吏部的副部长了,崔琰也已经是银行行长了,郗虑总觉得自己太屈才,所以见到祢衡失态,才趁机进言,想博取刘汉少的关注。此举虽有些令人不齿,但是比起祢衡过激之举,倒显得郗虑义正严词了。

  有的要求情,有的要严惩,孔融还说祢衡是个神经病,这会儿只是犯病了,大家不能跟他一般见识,计较于他,反正是乱哄哄的一点也不消停。倒是祢衡趴在条凳上一动不动,因为看不到脸色,也不知道他是在装死,还是处之泰然。

  “诸君放心,哥没生气,既然祢正平想玩耍,哥就让他好好玩耍一番。”

  孔融急惶惶说道:“陛下息怒,息怒呀!”

  “哥说了,哥没有生气。”

  “祢正平大雅君子,今日举止

  乖张,定然是邪病复发,还请陛下开恩宽宥!”推荐阅读TV//

  “这也算大雅君子?现在君子的门槛已经降这么低了吗?他有病不在家里好好呆着,还跑出来欺辱大家。要是大家因为看见他那个恶心的小玩意儿,长了针眼,他给报销医疗费不?”

  “陛下,陛下!千错万错,都是老臣的错!还请陛下看在老臣薄面,宽宥他这一次吧。”

  “文举啊,哥可以给你面子,但是他祢正平行此举之时,有没有想过给大家面子,给哥一个面子啊?”

  刘汉少与孔融还在喋喋不休,祢衡却在众目睽睽之下忽然颤抖了一阵。千万别误会,就这天儿,别人都想穿棉袄棉裤了,他却“光出溜”在条凳上趴了半天,这是被冻的打哆嗦了。

  见状,刘汉少对着史努比的耳朵嘀咕了一阵,然后史努比也在众目睽睽之下,拿着一盏小油灯走到祢衡身边,先在祢衡面前晃了晃,接着便放到了祢衡的屁屁后边,条凳之上。

  怎么个意思?这是要用油灯慢慢烧死我么?

  祢衡终于有些不蛋定了……

  …………

  “文举啊,祢正平狂悖无礼,口臭无德,今日若不处罚,难消诸君怨恨。但是,哥又不能不给你一个面子,同时也算给他一个机会。你看这样好不好,他要是能放个屁,把这盏灯给吹灭了,咱们也就把他当个屁,给放了。他要是吹不灭这盏灯,咱们就治他的目无尊上,君前失仪之罪,如何?”

  如何?

  这还能如何?

  孔融都已经死机了,众人也全都看傻了,原本以为祢衡已经玩的够“嗨皮”的了,没想到皇帝要玩的更过瘾!

  突然,祢衡梗着脖子,勉强抬起头,声嘶力竭地吼道:“昏君,今日有种便杀了我!”

  可惜后边更多骂人的话没机会说了,因为燕四娃已经就地拿起了祢衡的衣服,撕了一块,把嘴给堵上了。

  “杀你?”

  刘汉少冷笑着说:“杀你难道比杀一条疯狗更费事吗?但是哥不会杀你,千万不要以为自己名气大,仅仅是哥不屑杀之罢了。你这个娃呀,缺教育,嘴巴太臭,早晚得死在你这张臭嘴上。所以哥今天就是教育教育你,给你个放屁救命的机会。”

  刘汉少生气了吗?

  也许,真没有,否则他就不会兴奋地大喊:“兄弟们,赌了赌了,开盘押赌了啊!赌祢正平能放屁吹灯的押左边,赌他吹不灭灯的押右边!”

  这……

  陛下,您好歹是大汉皇帝呀,能玩的这么疯狂吗?这尴尬的场面难道不该早早收拾起来吗?咱们君臣一大群,都是斯文人,就围着圈看一个光屁屁吹灯玩?

  祢衡想死的心都有了,偏偏脑袋上下左右哪儿都够不着,想碰死自己都难,有心晃荡晃荡条凳,还被燕四娃手下的兄弟死死摁住了。

  曹操突然哈哈大笑起来,纵情处,一脑袋扎在汤盘里,沾了满脸的汤汁,却是兀自大笑不止,知不道的还以为他也疯了呢。

  可是,没有人知道,曹操其实笑的是自己。

</p>

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